Sunday, February 19, 2012

It takes Two to Tango

Here I am, unaccompanied as I walk to the church.
Gazing at the roses blooming at the facade.
Feeling envy to the water vapor as it touches the rosy petals.
They're too sweet that it make me feel sad.

All of a sudden, I bethink of you and me.
We were so happy that everyone could see.
We eat together, play together, walk together, dream together.
But What happened to us? It seems now that we're stranger to each other.

You are the half of my heart. Without you, I won't make it through.
You are the air that I breathe every single second of my life.
You are the soul that shelters through the haven of my humanity.
What will I be without you? Who am I without you?

You are like a cheerleader who always lead me in a positive way.
You are like an angel who is always there through good and bad, up and down.
But what have I done in return? Did I make you happy?
Or are you in sorrow being with me?

Before, I cannot ideate what is it like without you.
No one would find a perfect word to describe the feeling being far from you.
Even painters cannot delineate how this sombreness invades my love for you.
Though I feel the weariness down to the core, I will still stand firm and say how much I love you.

As the water vapor condensates into water droplets, and slowly slide through the rose's petals.
And together with the tears from my deepest being, I say to myself I will wait for you.
Maybe someday, you'll learn how to love me again.
And by that day, I already know that it takes two to Tango.

image source:

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Hidden Talent ni Budoy

Budoy: Alam mo BJ, may tinatago pala akong talent!

BJ: talaga? anong talent naman yun Budoy?

Budoy: ewan ko BJ. Nakatago nga eh diba? Wag tanga BJ.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Consciousness Examen - Mom

Let me first share you a poem made by Natasha Jordan when her sister-in-law passed away from cancer. She has two young children that time and Natasha had to tell them that their mother was going to pass. They flooded her with questions and said, “I know she will forget us”. So, Natasha wrote this poem to let them know that she will always love them no matter how far away she is.

Your Mother, Your Angel
You look back on memories you forgot you had,
And at times you'll smile even though it hurts so bad.

Your mother is a special woman and no one can take her place,
You'll find a piece of mind when you remember her smiling face.

Your mother is an angel now she flies high above the rest,
and in your hearts always and forever she will be the best.

She has earned her wings and it's time for her to fly,
I know it hurts no one is ever ready to say good-bye.

She knows you do not understand and that you cry at night,
But as you finally drift of to sleep let her memory hold you tight.

She will be your guardian angel through the rest of your life,
Helping lead you on the path between what' wrong and right.

Your mother loves you so very much and her love will always remain true,
Please don't ever think for a second that your mother will forget you.

A mother’s love is like no other in the whole world,
She has the most wonderful memories of a little boy and girl.

She has taken them with her as she's flown away,
Up to Heaven free of pain which is her new home to stay.

So although you cannot see her and you wish she could be there,
Your mother can always hear you and your mother will always care.

A mother does not forget the two greatest loves of her life,
And she loved nothing more than being your mommy, and your daddy's wife.

She is so proud of her family and that's in her heart to stay,
Even though she's an angel and has had to fly away.

So as you cry your tears remember your mother’s love,
Being sent to you from her, from the beautiful Heaven above.

She will be there through your good times, she will be there through your bad,
She'll be there when you are happy, she'll be there when you’re sad.

Your mother has become an angel now; it is her time to fly,
And you will never know how bad it hurt me to watch you have to say good-bye.

Thank you for giving us the sweetest gift, our mothers. Thank you for giving us the opportunity and time experiencing their unconditional love from the moment we were born up to the moment when she’s done journeying to the grave. Having a mother like my mother while growing up was the greatest gift and biggest advantage I could ever have. It is because of the confidence and values that she instilled in me that made me who I am today. She shaped me into a person who I like and am proud to be. She let me believe that I could be whoever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do, there were no limitations except my drive, ambition and creativity. I will never forget the moments when she read all the books that I read, when she learned about a world that must be so foreign to her. The time when she taught me how to write my name. The time when she actually memorized my speech as I memorized it for my graduation when I was in kinder. Those times when she attended in any events in school that I participated in. The day when she accompanied me in my first communion. Those days when we marched with joy during recognition. The day when I received criticisms because of placing 4th when I was in grade 3 which serves as my motivation until now. Our graduation pictures that never fade in my memories. Her undying love though she’s already suffering from cancer and her concern for me and my sibling until her death. Thank you for being my good luck charm, my muse, my hero, my savior, my therapist, my cook, and now my angel.
I admit I had not been a good son to my mother. Most of the time, loving me must have been like trying to hold a cactus. I was too bad for her. I thought she was just a typical mother for a typical son like me but I was wrong. She underwent many trials and criticisms because of me. She fought for me and it was too late for me to realize that. I regret that we had only little time to enjoy each other. I regret that I did not say sorry to her. I regret that I did not say I love her. Now that my mother was gone, I feel like incomplete.

Motherhood is tough 24 hour job, no pay, no day off, sometimes it is unappreciated, but yet resignation is impossible. For those whose mothers are still alive, let them feel that you love them, that you care for them. I believe most of us are not that vocal inside our family but try to say to her at least once in a while that you love her, that she’s the most important person in your life. Tell her how you love the food that she cooked. Tell her that she’s pretty as a flower, wise as an owl, fast as a cheetah and can dance like a wind. Don’t wait for the moment when she’s already dying when you can’t do anything but to be silent and pray. I know this thing is unusual for men but there is nothing effeminate in doing so. Ask God for her protection. For those whose mothers were already with God, pray for her soul and be strong for she does not want to see you sad.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Greatest Learning in Ateneo

"There is nothing commendable than to see yourself clamoring for excellence despite of the nonchalance and mediocrity of the people around you."

(Capaciete, 2012)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Consciousness Examen - Xavier Dorm

I would like to clarify that I did not create this because I am against the concerned people rather I would like to be, somewhat, an eye opener to my dorm mates.

Allow me to share and integrate some of my views as a graduating student and a resident of Xavier Honors' Dormitory for almost four years now with tonight's examen that is relative to my consciousness. To start with, let me share to you what was written in Manila Bulletin years ago which is entitled “ADNU’s best kept secret”. “Still and all, one of the best-kept secrets of the Ateneo de Naga University is the presence on this campus of an Honors Dorm that is home to 58 remarkable male and female student achievers. These dormers, housed mostly in the on-campus Xavier Dorm, follow a stringent schedule of daily activities. These hone them physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually to be model students who create a culture of excellence among the student population. These dormers are scholars who possess great potential yet might otherwise have been bereft of a college education due to grave financial constraints. But through the Honors Dorm Program, they have been taken in, given free board and lodging, and are being mentored closely so as to maintain high standards of performance both academically and in other formative elements.

Almost all of them know that I have experienced three supervisions in the dorm; Kuya Zero, Kuya Bibit and currently, Kuya Joel and majority also of the ladies have experienced two administrations, that of Ma’am Lil and ate Tin.

Kuya Zero is the ideal, strict and disciplined prefect and most of the times a Father. Kuya Bibit is a very loose and always out-of-reach prefect, a barkada should I say. Kuya Joel is a very busy, unpredictable prefect. Sometimes strict, but most of the times not... a brother should I say... but whether an older one or a younger one, that I do not know. Ma’am Lil is a female version of Kuya Zero but times 100% with being strict and KJ, a lady-guard in my imagination. Ate Tin, as I know her and based from hearsay, is a no pressure prefect and somewhat opposite to Ma’am Lil, more of being a counselor I must say.

With these descriptions and some observations in the dormitory, lucky are the ones who experienced and appreciated the administrations of Kuya Zero and Ma’am Lil. Yes, sometimes or most of the times, they're KJ or strict but now, have you realized the difference of the dormitories from before? Yes, I could say that it’s quite cleaner now but looking on a larger picture, Xavier Honors Dormitory for Men and Ladies before is incomparable. Kuya Zero and Ma’am Lil are just perfect epitomes of being a prefect. Through them, discipline was imparted to each and every resident of the dormitory. Through them, good feedbacks could be given to the dormers, to the dormitories. Through them, dormers were molded to what they should be. On the other hand, the three other prefects, looking on the positive side, test us to become and act as matured individuals in our respective dormitories that even without their presence, Xavier Honors Dormitory is Xavier Honors Dormitory. That even without their strict implementation of the rules, Xavier dormers can still be called and proudly be called University dormers.
Since then, friendship has always been the most discussed issue in the dormitory. You know what guys, there’s a great difference with the set of dormers before and now. Before, it’s okay to joke to any of your fellow dormers as long as you know your limitations. You know when to stop. You know when someone is already hurt. But now, it seems that almost everyone is insensitive. Most of the dormers now are too busy chatting about other’s lives. Why not focus first on your studies? Make sure that you’re still qualified to stay for the next semester.

If one friendship has come to an end, then respect it. The words of regrets do not help. Do you know how irritating to see your quote-unquote friends maliciously stare at you? And the most disgusting of all, the nonsense assumptions that make the situation worse. Isn’t it a form of backbiting? If you’re really a friend, you would respect the decisions made, unless you’re just one of those gossipmongers.

Conflict about friendship, I believe, is inevitable with this environment, with this kind of people. Many personalities and behaviors mixed in one dormitory.
Rules are made for the dormitories to be organized, to replace thought. If we know the rules, then we always know what to do even early in the morning, during study period or very late at night. I always remember when I was in my first year and Kuya Joel Laguerta was still the beadle. I and Mark Mandia were making a conversation as we go to church for the morning mass. After the mass, he warned us and reiterated that general silence should still be observed until the mass starts. That’s how strict the dorm was.

Ate Tin, as she always says, rules are just guide. But if we always treat it that way, then I believe sooner or later, the residents of the Xavier Honors Dormitories will never be the cream of the crop again. Why is that so? A very good example is our very own Xavier Honors Dorm – Men. Before, many of us could make it to President’s List or Dean’s List. Many dormers were being awarded during the ceremonies. Now, have you observed that for the past two years, only few of us were able to make it to the list, even Dean’s List?

As I see it, dormers who excel every semester become fewer and fewer because of not being strict with the rules or not observing the rules. Well, we all know that all of us should qualify at least for Dean’s List every semester for us to continue our scholarship in the dormitory. With Kuya Zero, all those who were in probationary status were given slip (I don’t know if it’s pink or blue because I did not receive one) to remind them that they must exert more effort in the next semester, otherwise, he will be thrown out of the dormitory. I believe, Ma’am Lil has the same implementation, or more strict rather. With the past two years, many of us have been relaxed because we know that Kuya Bibit cannot do it – to throw us out of the dormitory. If only Kuya Bibit became strict, many of the current dormers should have not been residing in the dorm right now. Now, I just do not know. Many considerations were given. Many of us have been spoiled. Many inconsistencies happened. Now that we only have the Final exams for this semester, evaluate ourselves, can we make it to the list? Do we still deserve to be called Xavier dormers? Do we still deserve to live and enjoy the privileges of being University dormers? Can we still justify that we, the so-called University dormers, are still the cream of the crop of this institution?

Lastly, think of this, how would you expect someone to respect you if you yourself do not know how to act properly in accordance with the rules and regulations of the dormitory, and the university?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Consciousness Examen - Friends

"Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus

God Almighty, Thank you for giving us strange persons who eventually become our friends. Thank you for the moments we’ve been sharing may it be laughter or pain. Thank you for giving them the sweetest smile which we see even early in the morning or even late at night. For being open-minded in most of the times. For being trustworthy in keeping secrets. For always being there in times of trouble and big problems. For cracking jokes even if they’re not funny. For the care in times of sickness. For enjoying one’s company even in the boring moments. For lending us even their personal and most valuable things. For helping us in our academic  and personal concerns. For the willingness to listen to one’s problems even late at night. For having the biggest shoulder in times of resentment. For having the biggest smile in times of success. For catching the tears that flow through one’s face. For walking beside us at all times not being a stranger nor being a leader, nor being a follower but being a friend.

Lord Jesus, Sorry if there are times that we’ve been taking for granted these people we called friends. If there are times that we’ve offended them, may it be intentionally or not. For being so tight in treating them. For being silent instead of resolving the issue. For wrongly using the pride. For the offensive jokes. For being bad influence. For being reluctant in helping them. For being possessive in some ways. For saying them bad words that should have not been uttered. For making bad assumptions. For backstabbing them whenever there are misunderstandings. For being not open to forgiveness. For being not open to communication. For always being a leader or follower instead of being a friend, Lord, Sorry.

God, our Savior, another day is about to end. Another friendship has sprouted. Another friendship has been renewed. Another friendship has come to an end. For the friendships that have just grown, Lord, bless us as we discover each other’s qualities, desires and sensations. May the sanctuary that has been formed between us exist for a life time. For the friendships that have just been renewed, Lord, guide us as we patch things up. May we earn again the trust that has been marred in the days of miscommunication. Teach us to trust again. Motivate us to fill the gaps that were formed out of anger. For the friendships that have just been ended, please take our broken selves and heal us in your love. Please provide unification and bring us into light. Maybe not now, not tomorrow but in the near future, may we learn how to forgive one’s transgressions and also, may we learn how to seek for forgiveness. No matter what, we know that there is one friend who always walks beside us and never leaves us and that is you. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Let'g go techy: can't see messenger messages on windows 7?

Just follow the instructions:

click START  >   click RUN which is located at ACCESSORIES (you can also type RUN in the search bar)  >  type REGEDIT   >   press ENTER.

find and click HKEY_CURRENT_USER .>  click SOFTWARE   >  click  MICROSOFT >  click WINDOWS  > click CURRENT VERSION   >  click  INTERNET SETTINGS  >   then click ZONES.

you'll see folders like 0 1 2 3 etc.
you might see a box kind of folder before the zero folder...DELETE that.

Restart Your PC and everything will be fine.